Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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