I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize