do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
