I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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