You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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