you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
