Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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