wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize