no, he came in my armpit
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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