I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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