like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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