WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
