Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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