dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
