I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
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