saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
