you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
