I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
