you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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