My brain says no but my pants say off.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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