So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
