Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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