I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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