also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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