i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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