How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
