He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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