Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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