omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
