you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
