fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
