It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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