If i come over, it means nothing
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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