Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
