Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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