Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
