marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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