Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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