I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
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It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
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my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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