Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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