Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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