What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
3 2 1 whiskey
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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