Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
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