He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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