YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize