I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
