It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
