the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
