North Korea, Best Korea!
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Randomize
