Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
His hands were made for my vagina.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
