4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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