apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
