Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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