how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
