Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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