So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
