so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
