The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
