Duck Duck Cougar?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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