You made me cry and you don't even care
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize