I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
